Thoughtful Thursday – How do you see yourself?

When I visited with Dr. Charley Ferrer on her television show, one of the things we discussed during the segment on “Fifty Ways to Please Your Lover” was that sexy something that some women have regardless of their body type or looks.

They have innate self esteem and knowledge of themselves as sexy and beautiful creatures and that’s the most potent of mating calls – self empowerment.

I have never had that mating call. I was shy as a child and it took me forever to learn to be outgoing (yes, there are people who know me now who do not believe this, but trust me, I WAS SHY!!).

I’m also not all that into fancy clothes or make-up. I own more sneakers than I do dress shoes.

So where am I going with this?

It was recently time to update my publicity photos. Last time I went, I allowed the photog to convince me to go “glamorous”. I could see as he took the shots that he was wondering how he’d ever make me look good. I hated the photo, but needed it right away. It didn’t look like me. I looked older. It was a bomb. I stopped using the photo and substituted a casual shot taken at a signing, but . . .

Everyone was hounding me that I needed a new publicity shot, so it was with much trepidation that I finally gave in and went for new photos.

What a wonderful experience. I went to the Glamour Shots in Bridgewater Commons and two lovely young women assisted me — the two Nicoles! They made me feel sexy and full of life. The shots came out nicely (see below). What a difference their perception of me made in my perception of myself.

Now, I know people will say that you need to see yourself the way you want to be seen rather than seeing yourself through the eyes of others. Still, that’s not easy sometimes when you are inherently shy or have grown up as a tomboy.

In any case, the two Nicoles (as well as my daughter who came to hold my hand and cheer me on), gave me a new perspective and I think the photos reflect the comfort they made me feel during the shoot.

Visit My Photos – 5 Pics
Caridad’s Photos

8 thoughts on “Thoughtful Thursday – How do you see yourself?”

  1. Thank you, Rita! But yes, I was painfully shy and slowly started coming out of it in high school. College was so large that I was able to meld into the crowd while finding my place. I think it was work and law school that forced me out of that shyness, especially the Moot Court competitions.

    I would sometimes be in the bathroom sweating and feeling sick before I had to present an argument. I quickly learned how to control those fears and also found that if I put myself out to meet people, they would come out of their shells to talk.

    I’m so glad I’ve learned to be more outgoing and as for you’re being “cold” — I didn’t get a sense of that at all when we met!

  2. I’m an introvert that’s me, I shy away in the background. I judge myself to harshly on my appearance and feel that it doesn’t meet the “required” quota when meeting new people on my own that I’ve not been in contact with. In groups I’m ok for I keep to the background until I feel I have something to contribute. Happens in work and social environments. Lack of confidence I dunno. For I’ve been told that I come across “cold”, guess I use it as a protective barrier and perhaps that’s why I’m still single *lol*

  3. WOW Caridad, the photo’s from your shoot are amazing, you look so beautiful! You SHY! no way I can’t imagine you as a shy person. You come across full of confidence and have such a lovely warm personality that reaches out to people!
    Thanks for sharing the amazing pics!

  4. The only thing that was awkward about the shoot was that whole, tilt your head down, chin up, angle it a little. I felt a little like a pretzel at one point, but they did come out nice.


  5. Wow, those came out great! You need to put those girls on your christmas card list! I always end up having a glaring shot of the inside of my nose because I’m tilting my head back trying to camoflage my double chin LOL!

    I know what you mean about never having the call. I think I was almost twenty before I ever had a date. I was one of those girls who had a gaggle of guy friends but never dated any of them. Embarrassingly (since they were all so cute) many of them actually called me Mom. The girlfriends (for the guys) were all jealous because the guys would hang around with me when the girls weren’t a part of the group. I got the last laugh on the girlfriends though. I’m still really good friends with most of the guys and the girlfriends are long gone.

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