Many thanks to Melissa from the Dangerous Women Writing group for sharing this hilarious take on cats and dogs. If you want to join a fun loop, check us out! You can spend time with all the Dangerous Women Writing – Nina Bruhns, Anna DeStefano, Donna Grant, Michele Hauf, Jennifer Haymore/Dawn Halliday, Rita Herron, Caridad Pineiro, Debra Webb, and Lisa Renee Jones/Faith Winter!
So now for the truth about cats and dogs! Here are sample entries from cat and dog diaries.
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary……
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…………….
As you know, I was away this week at the 2009 RT Convention in Orlando, Florida. I had a wonderful time participating in panels, meeting with old friends and fans and also making new friends and fans! This Guilty Pleasure Monday I’m going to share some of my adventures and photos.
I arrived late on Tuesday, but got to share a plane ride with a totally interesting gentleman who was a gun collector. Talked him into answering some questions for the Liberty States Fiction Writers since he is an expert on all kinds of guns.
Wednesday I hit the ground running, starting with a mixer to honor the bookseller of the year. Here’s a photo of me with some of the wonderful performers at the mixer.
As I was heading out of the mixer, I had a big WOW as I noticed the Grand Central Promotion and saw the cover for SINS OF THE FLESH. Check it out! It’s gorgeous. I’m going to try and get a cleaner version for you.
Then I hit the ground running for the first of my many vampire, multicultural and series panels (over the course of the next few days). Check out me, LA Banks, AC Arthur, Kimberly Raye Terry and Megahn Hart on one panel.
Also got to savor the jungle-themed Ellora’s Cave party. Here’s a photo of the Ellora’s Cavemen doing a dance at the party.
Harlequin held a great mashed potatoes martini bar luncheon to celebrate its 60th anniversary and had samples of its covers from over the years as well as some great contests for bags filled with books and some SONY E-readers. Here’s Vivi Anna and me hamming it up in front of one of the covers.
From there it was more panels, more nightly festivities and an unexpected adventure which I must share.
My friends and I returned from one of the workshops and decided to take a break by partaking of a single glass of wine on the balcony of our room. First problem, a security bar that wouldn’t go up. Being independent and strong women (and determined to enjoy a beautiful spring day), we got the bar up and opened the sliding glass door. We went out onto the balcony to take a break, but to avoid bugs in the room, decided to close the door.
My friends warned me the door was hard to close, but with one easy push (those weight training sessions must be working better than I thought), the door slid closed.
Just one problem – that sticky security bar. In slow motion it came down and landed perfectly in its little receptacle, locking us out on the balcony door!
What to do? A hotel staff member drove by on the path by our room in a little golf cart and we shouted and waved to him. He waved back and grinned broadly. What else did we expect when 3 lovely women were so enthusiastically beckoning him?
Realizing we would not be freed at that moment, we imagined ourselves to be the heroines in our books who would take the bull by the horns and do something. So we formed a human chain, eased over the railing and made it to the ground.
NOT!! Luckily a gentleman came by and we caught his attention. He quickly phoned security and even came back to check if we needed anything, like more wine. LOL!
Did I mention that in addition to the security bar the door to the room was double-locked and the bar was in place?
Luckily, security did not delay too much and two of them – a man and a woman – arrived to open the door to the room and then, laughing quite uproariously, pick up the pesky security bar so we could open the sliding door.
A happy ending so we could head to the RT Awards where I cheered on my friends Vivi Anna, Anna DeStefano and Debra Webb, all winners of RT Reviewers Choice Awards this year. Anna and Debra are also Dangerous Women Writing group!
I missed the Faery Ball that night as I had a wonderful dinner with my publisher and fellow Grand Central authors, including Rita Herron, another of the Dangerous Women Writing group.
The Vampire Ball the next night was a blast. Ran into some women babysitting a ghoulish baby!
Also ran into a former Mr. Romance at the book fair who was kind enough to pose with me. What a smile! (Okay, the rest is pretty good also!)
Had lots of fun and am already thinking about heading to next year’s conference in Columbus, Ohio.
Here’s some more photos for you from the conference!
At the February meeting of the Liberty States Fiction Writers we were very lucky to have my friend and fellow author, Anna DeStefano, do a wonderful workshop on revisions. During the course of the workshop, Anna mentioned something which I truly believe – Characters are plot.
Why do I believe that? You may read a book that has a good plot – pacing works, premise is interesting. But if the characters leave you flat, you will forget that book almost as quickly as you read it.
Writing emotionally developed and interesting characters is, IMHO, key to creating a memorable book and plot. Why plot? you ask. Because it is the development of the characters and how they resolve their internal conflicts that creates the story arc of your plot. It is your job as a writer to craft scenes in which the characters are challenged to deal with their conflicts and advance until at the end of the novel, the characters have resolved those internal conflicts (or maybe just one of them if you are creating a series with the same characters).
For this reason, I totally believe that characters are plot. When you define your characters and how they need to grow, you can then build a story around that. When you do, you will have a book where your readers are always on the edge of their seats wondering whether or not the character will rise up to the occasion or fail. Readers will cheer for them and their hearts will break when the characters encounter problems.
When your readers finish your book, not only will you have given them a story that engaged them, but you will have touched them and created characters they will remember long after the books are sitting on a shelf.
Characters are plot. Remember that before you get started and your story will almost write itself.