Live to Love on the Edge Blog

Dialogue Should Fit the Characters:

Consider what your character is like and have what they say be in synch with their nature. You wouldn’t expect a rough and tumble, hard drinkin’ detective to say, “Pardon me, Miss” if he accidentally bumped a young woman in a bar. He probably would just eyeball her and say nothing, which speaks volumes about his character without a word being spoken.

More importantly, men and women just do not communicate in the same way. What one says and the other hears is sometimes totally at odds with the actual language spoken.

Why is that? Deborah Tannen analyzes various reasons for this in her book, You Just Don’t Understand. I highly recommend that you read that book so that you will be able to create realistic dialogue for your characters.

“What we have here is a failure to communicate.”
A memorable quote from the film Cool Hand Luke

What is being said and by whom? What Happens next? The Miscommunication and the Why?

Here are some examples of Male/Female Miscommunication:

She said: Would you like to take a break?
He says: No, I’m fine. Let’s finish this.

Whether by nature or nurture, the fact is that men tend to work alone while women work in teams. A woman wants “the team” to agree on taking a course of action. By asking if he wants to take a break, she is saying “I’m tired. I’d like to take a break and I want you to agree with me.” He is thinking that she is wondering whether he is tired and since he is not, he sees no problem with his response.

He says: “But I am listening.”

She sees that he is not facing her directly. She knows that the next thing he says will be about something totally different than what they are currently discussing.

Bonds between men are based less on talking and more on doing (“Boys night”). Because of this men don’t know the kind of talk women want. Men with other men fight to avoid being at the “bottom” of the group. Being a listener makes some men feel like they are being talked down to. Men also jump around to lots of different topics during a conversation whereas women have a tendency to be more focused.

She says: “I’m having this problem at work. I don’t know what to do. My boss screamed at me like a lunatic.”
Another woman says: “Hmm. That happened to me. I felt bad.”
He says: “Well, tell him not to do that. Or quit if it’s that bad.”

Men do and take action. They worry about being the top dog. They are problem solvers and when asked what to do, understand that a solution is needed for a problem.

Women are team players. They listen. They commiserate. If they sense that the other woman truly does want a solution, they will provide instruction by example because this maintains the dynamic of equality between all the team players.

When writing the dialogue between male and female characters, keep the above forms of miscommunication in mind.  They will serve you well in not only crafting believable dialogue, but in learning how to create dialogue that enhances the conflicts between the characters due to this male/female miscommunication.

©2006 Caridad Piñeiro Scordato

You’ve started your book. You have the basic idea of what you plan to write (genre and length) and understand the conflict with which your characters will deal.  But to be intriguing, your characters not only need that internal conflict to resolve, but dialogue that fits them and is effective.  In addition, the dialogue that occurs between the characters has to convey necessary information.  The key is — not too much information.  You want the reader to intuit any secondary meaning in the words and also, the emotions and intent behind the words.

So what is effective dialogue?  Effiective dialogue:

1.  Advances the plot and adds to the story
2.  Doesn’t use unnecessary prompts or cues (like er, hmm, oh)
3.  Doesn’t use excessive tag lines (she kidded, teased, warned)
4.  Keeps the flow going
5.  Fits the characters

What kind of Dialogue Advances the Plot and Adds to the Story? Consider the three following examples:

“I’m leaving,” he said to the lieutenant.
“I hate this place,” he said and handed the lieutenant the paper.
“I can’t wait to walk out that door.” He handed the lieutenant his transfer request.

Of the three, the last one advances the plot and adds to the story by providing more information.

Effective Dialogue doesn’t use nnecessary prompts or excessive tag lines:

Try listening to everyday conversations.  Be an eavesdropper (something which writers are allowed to some extent).  Every day conversations may be realistic, but they are generally BORING!  Every day conversations are generally filled with needless prompts.

Prompts (or cues) are the things such as:

“How are you?”
“What’s new?”

A “Tag line” is the last line of a speech which is used to clarify or dramatize a point. For example, “he said” or “she said”. Tag lines should be simple and not “he muttered”, “she croaked”, “he groaned”.

Also try to avoid tag lines that contain unnecessary exposition. For example, in a scene where only two people are present, let’s assume a vampire and a woman, it is not necessary to say, “I want a bite,” the vampire said to the woman. We know it’s just two people in the room and therefore “to the woman” is unnecessary.

Plus remember Rule One about advancing the plot/adding info. If he’s a vampire, do you need to have him say, “I want to bite.”?

More effective dialogue would be “You expect me to bite. What if you’re not biteable?”

This makes us wonder whether the vampire regularly bites and also, why the woman isn’t biteable. In a romance, it would also make us wonder if the vampire “doth protest too much” about her biteability.

Effective Dialogue Should Keep the Flow Going:

All writers do it at one time or another, namely: “I really hadn’t planned on that,” he said and walked across the room. He continued. “But then again, maybe I will.”

Breaking the flow may damage a scene by pulling the reader out of the moment. In general, leave descriptions to the end of the dialogue. For that matter, if the description doesn’t set the tone/nature of the dialogue that is occurring, omit it entirely. Excess narration at this point can negatively impact on the exchange between the
characters. For example:

“I didn’t mean – “ she began, clenching her hands on the handle of her suitcase.
“For this to happen?” he said, cutting her off as he walked across the room, his stride hesitant.
Almost fearful.

Compare the above to this:

Her hands clenched on the handle of her suitcase. “I didn’t mean – “
“For this to happen?” He walked across the room, his stride hesitant.

**End Part One.

Copyright 2006 Caridad Pineiro Scordato