Category: ThrowbackThursday

As part of Women’s History Month, I want to share another woman who made such a difference in my life: My grandmother Nieves. I’m actually named after in part since my real first name is Caridad de las Nieves. When I became a citizen, I couldn’t keep that long first name and had to shorten it to Caridad, but I adopted Nieves as my middle name since I didn’t have one.

Nieves was an amazing woman. Strong and determined much like the daughter she raised. But whereas I saw my mother as a rebel and go-getter, my grandmother seemed like a sturdy oak to me, sinking her roots deep in our new home to help give our family stability and a place where we felt safe. That difference between my mom and my grandmother inspired a fictional scene in The Family She Never Met where Carmen’s mother Nieves is challenging her daughter over her involvement in helping Castro overthrow the Batista dictatorship. In that scene, Nieves wonders whether Cuba will be trading living under Batista’s thumb for being under Castro’s boot. Prophetic in hindsight.

My grandmother was always there for me in so many ways, including for my tummy! She was an absolutely amazing cook and she loved to iron. My sister and I were probably the only kids in our school who had jeans that were ironed. My grandmother found it relaxing and actually complained that modern irons were way too light having grown up with heavy cast iron irons.

I miss you abuela! Yes, the baby in that picture is me!

Since March is Women’s History Month I thought I’d share with you some of the women who have made an impact in my life. For starters, the woman who gave me life, my mother Carmen. My mom was an absolutely amazing woman who was also a friend and mentor. She taught me so much and made me the woman I am today even though she’s been gone from my life for far longer than she was in it. But her spirit and determination live on in me, my sister, and her granddaughters. I think she would be very proud of all that we’ve accomplished. Thank you, mom.

These three photos represent my mom in various stages of her life. To the left is a picture of her as a toddler posing in traditional Galician garb. I believe the photo was taken in Spain during a visit there. The photo to the bottom left is my mom as a teenager. The photo to the upper right is my mom on her wedding day. So beautiful! I miss her every day.

There is a scene in The Family She Never Met where Lara is very excited about an upcoming Easter Egg hunt and a visit to the movie theater to watch The Sound of Music. This scene was loosely based on my family’s own visits to New York City for the Easter Parade and one very special visit where we did go watch The Sound of Music at Radio City Music Hall.

I remember watching the movie which is still a favorite. In fact, if we ever get to go on our much-delayed Danube River Cruise, we plan to take a trip to Salzburg to do a Sound of Music tour!

When I watched the movie, I immediately identified with the Von Trapp family and how they had to escape Austria because it reminded me of how my family escaped Cuba. I did turn to my mom at the end of the movie to say to her that it was just like us, which is in the scene with Lara and her mother as they watch the movie.

Is the Sound of Music one of your favorites? If not, share your favorite movie with me!

This is a photo of me and my family on one of those Easter trips to the city. From left to right, that’s my grandmother, me, my beautiful mom, my sister, and my handsome father. I suspect my brother was the one taking the photo!

Of all the things I’ve done in my life, becoming a mom has got to be the best thing ever. I love spending time with my daughter and this is one of those times. She used to play soccer and this photo was taken at one of her games while we were waiting for it to start!

In The Family She Never Met there is a flashback scene where an old neighbor comes to visit Jessica’s grandmother Carmen and returns a ring that Carmen had thought was lost.

That is a true story about my grandmother’s engagement ring!

When it finally came time for us to leave Cuba, we had to do it in a rush. During that rush, my grandparents were giving away anything of value to friends because they didn’t want Castro to get it.

One of those things was a robe that was given to a neighbor who had been a very good friend to my grandmother.

After my grandparents left Cuba with us, my grandmother realized she had lost her engagement ring.

My grandfather felt so bad, that when we got to the U.S., my grandfather saved up money and tracked down the jeweler who had made the first ring to make my grandmother another one just like it.

Many, many years later, a knock came on our door in Levittown. It was our old neighbor who had found out where we were living. He had come to return my grandmother’s ring which his wife had found in the pocket of the robe my grandmother had given her when we were leaving.

This is a photo of the ring!

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My mother Carmen was my mother, mentor, and best friend, but she was also distant. Much like Lara in The Family She Never Met, there were things my mother never shared with me about Cuba and her life there.

Carmen was always at the top of her class in school and was determined to become a lawyer. She was studying at the university in Havana when it was shut down because of the protests that were occurring because of the revolution.

It was my mother’s involvement in Cuban politics that resulted in my father and her having to flee Cuba. They had been advised by a friend with connections that Castro’s people were coming to jail them because they were trying to get Castro out of power.

Once they were in the U.S., it was my mother who was the force in making our American Dream come true. She worked long hours so that we would be able to purchase a home in Levittown and so that my sister and I would be able to go to college.

As I mentioned before, my mother rarely talked about Cuba. I found out a great deal about her life in Cuba after she had passed. The scenes in The Family She Never Met where Jessica sees her mother Lara watching TV and crying are my recollections of seeing my mother cry when she saw a television broadcast from Cuba. It was the first time in over a decade that she was seeing her beloved country.

The stories of how Carmen got together with fellow refugees to help others leave Cuba are also true. My mother and others from her old company in Cuba raised money to help other company employees escape and come to the U.S.